Open Letter To The Transformers22/02/2009
The problem is, the trailer for you guys's last movie was also very exciting, and then the movie was whatever the opposite of exciting is. The opposite of exciting is bad, right?
Based on the trailer, it looked like a lot of pretty amazing robots blowing shit up in spectacular ways. And for awhile that's just what it was!
Very exciting! In real life mass-destructive killing machines are terrifying, but in the summer at a movie they are fun like toys and games! But, um, then you guys opened your mouths and whoops, the whole thing fell apart.
See, when you guys talk, you sound like idiots. Big time. Major league idiots. This is what you sound like. You sound like that crossed with this. You sound like Voltron's boyfriend.
So when I ask you to shut the fuck up, I'm not saying not to turn into a lazer-beam-jet-fighter-Tonka-bulldoze-nightmare-truck and blow all the stuff up. I'm just saying do it without talking.
Pretend you're blowing everything up at a library.