It takes a lot to divert this town’s attention from politics. More specifically, it takes the production of a major Hollywood film that, come this time next year, might stand as the most expensive — and perhaps highest grossing — one of 2011.
For a week in October, hardly a placid month in the political cycle, Washingtonians diverted their gaze from Capitol Hill to wherever director Michael Bay and his crew were filming Transformers: Dark of the Moon that day.
Even the looming midterm elections couldn’t compete with the flashy, anthropomorphized cars zooming around the District, a camera-mounted Porsche SUV in pursuit. And for those few days, Shia LaBeouf supplanted President Obama as the most talked about man in D.C.
The production started with a whimper at the Air Force Memorial. Gawkers were forced to watch from across the street, which provided no view whatsoever. Boredom ensued. But all changed the next day when Bumblebee, a yellow Chevy Camaro with black racing stripes, T-boned a real-life D.C. police SUV during a scene being filmed on the east end of the National Mall.
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The officer, it turned out, was en route to investigate a suspicious package nearby. Filming was suspended, then lifted for the evening, when pyrotechnics were expected.
Things settled down the following night for a shoot at the Lincoln Memorial. I’d already spent the afternoon filming Transformers cars as they repeatedly sped through the 12th Street tunnel and so, deep in an existential crisis, I decided I would not spend five hours waiting for something to happen at the Lincoln Memorial.
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Fortunately, nothing did happen. LaBeouf walked around in a suit, smoking cigarettes, and girls squealed. The next day, just when I thought my life couldn’t possibly get more exciting, a video surfaced of LaBeouf throwing coffee on a local paparazzo.
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Naturally, I rang up photographer, Mark Wilkins, who called LaBeouf a “jerk.” Meanwhile, the Transformers crew was packing up and leaving town, which, in turn, left me with severe withdrawal symptoms. From where would my next SEO gold be mined? I got so desperate the following week that I even wondered if LaBeouf could somehow sue Wilkins.
This month, the first teaser trailer was released, which took liberties with American history and didn’t feature one shot of D.C. — not even the Washington Monument! This was almost as depressing as the thought of spending $100,000 on a Transformers car.
– TBD
